These things, of course, are nearly impossible to change, often only visible in sparks of emotion which are instant and finite; which, whilst slightly worrying, is quite comforting. We're constantly told to be ourselves, that the only people worth knowing would be the ones who love us the way we are.
So why is it that I try so hard to please everyone I meet?
Whether it's at work, waiting for the bus or hastily vacating a booked
train seat following apprehensive glares, I am desperate for people to
like me. Something which I know, of course, is an impossible task, not
to mention exhausting. Going beyond the regular 'just trying to be a
genuinely nice person' to 'shit, did my smile look fake when I passed
them in the corridor? Must talk to them at lunch to make sure we're ok'.
So how do we become comfortable in ourselves? Is it purely based on what everyone else thinks?
For me, no. I think once you stop doubting yourself so much and start to trust the choices you make, you can begin to really be yourself. Whilst I'm lucky enough to be at that stage with the people closest to me, I need to understand that to reaching that point with everyone would be an impossible task. And one that I don't need to undertake.
I really need to take a lesson from the Georgia in the photos above. Effortless, carefree and not feeling like I need to be someone I'm not. Something which is harder than we'd like to think.
Photos c/o the amazing will.fm